Change of Heart

Common Pitfalls

I will try to write here about a topic where I want to discuss about my own life, but it may very well apply to yours. Too often people do not find meaningful or fulfilling work. I used to think people are picking the wrong careers because they do not know what they are interested in, gifted at or passionate about. That is definitely apart of it, but there is a deeper issue that lies in the person, something you just have to pray that God help you. This post is not about faith per say, but too often people get into these set ways of thinking that are actually erroneous, flawed, and wrong. In other words people have believed something as a lie as true. For example, “ I am not talented”. That is not true, everyone has some form of talent given to them by God. In other words, everyone has strengths and weaknesses.

In life, it is your responsibility to take notice of the things that you are strong in and not and act accordingly. So, if you love numbers and are a math ace, a life as mathematician is actually a good idea. Notice there were two components to that. The theoretical you first loved math, which is most important, and second he was really good at it. At first glance it does not seem complicated, but for different reasons people like me select things that they do not love because they think they would be good at it. In my case, I thought I would be better at patent prosecution than I actually am. In fact it will take years for me to become truly proficient at it, which is actually normal. The problem is because I do not love it, I am so against spending that time going through the pain of learning that skill. In all honesty, I do not see myself in the field long term.

So what do you take away from this, follow your heart, do what you love, and chase your dreams. I would answer with a qualified yes. For example, people may be passionate about many various things. For example, my older brother oil paints extremely well, he makes candles and soap, he writes children’s books and illustrates them, he makes music for the books as well, and he now is psychology graduate student at Harvard. Yes he takes graduate level classes at Harvard. He does the latter so he can eventually make money because he has not figured out a way to sustain himself with the other things I mentioned. Does what I said before apply to a true renaissance man, I mean maybe it doesn’t. Chasing your dreams worked for comedian Steve Harvey, but not in the same way for my brother.

So I have to come back to the faith aspect, maybe there is something about the people that allows them against the odds to somehow succeed at the dream. This is what I would say though, if the dream is something that will not go away no matter what you do, it is something you think about all the time, it is moral, there is no other dream like this in your heart then you have to realize that this is something that you need to pursue. I know what I said about my brother, but this is not law where there is a hard and fast rule for people. At the end of the day you have to identify what the desire or dream actually is, and pursue it. I do not believe this desire came from yourself, but from God above. Of course I could be wrong, I have been wrong before, but a kid who writes I want to be Doctor when she is in grade school likely did not get that desire to be a Doctor from just anywhere. If kid who at 18 still wants to be a Doctor when she graduates high school, I think that person should pursue being a doctor, not the newest job trend because they think it will allow them to have a good job with less work and stress.

An example of this is high school. Some people in my class said they were pursuing a degree in engineering. I would guess not all people ended up with a degree in engineering. Hopefully, after more experiences if someone chose the wrong major, they can find a more suitable one for their gifting. Although, that is not always what is happening. Now, I ask God for guidance because there is no way you can know what you can do or what you are capable of without some kind wisdom from the one who made you.

The truth is I have learned that all decisions you make have consequences downstream in your life. Your life is not always make or break on these decisions, but like I said before a decision to believe that you are not talented enough will likely have an impact on the decisions you make. Being young will also impact the decisions you make. There will be consequences regardless. That is why if you have a burning a desire, a dream, or vision for your life you need to pursue it. At least you will have given it your all. In that case no matter what happens you can hold your head high.

My Life as Example

As young boy, I used to love watching tennis. I was born in 1995, but I remember watching the final years of Andre Agassi’s career. I used watch his matches, and even had his video game for the gameboy advance. When he retired, my favorite player was Federer bar none. My affinity for tennis existed from a very young age, nobody in my family really played tennis competitively or knew anything about how to play at a high level although my family watched from time to time. My Uncle, who played as adult probably displayed the most interest in the sport in the people who came before me. I guess my first memory of playing tennis was using an old metal tennis racquet that my grandmother gave my brother and I. I do not remember anything else, whether I enjoyed it or not. I probably did not because the head was the size of a squash racquet and way too heavy. The string were green and white. Ain’t no way that thing was playable.

My first memory of me playing organized tennis was a summer recreation center class I asked my mom to take when I was 10 or 11. That is how you know the desire is coming from within you and not outside because usually parents put their children in Tennis at young ages from 6 years old upwards without the child asking to do it. My mom had this magazine full of city rec classes I would look through, and I saw one for tennis and said I wanted to do it.

Out of all the kids I was the best, and I would rally with an older boy who was in the class too. This is not a surprise because I was good at sports, but I more importantly I was probably having the most fun out of anyone there. I think I illustrated the type of person who should definitely pursue their dream. When I was 12 I started taking formal lessons, after asking for them. My parents really did not like the idea of paying good money for lesson for a sport they really did not understand that well. Of course my younger brother was along for the ride as we often played together as children and when I played tennis, he usually played tennis too. The days of mindlessly hitting the ball as a child is something I will always remember. Of course my Dad did not have a problem taking my brother and I to the public tennis courts, but he did not understand just how much that I enjoyed tennis.

My freshman year in high school, when I was 15, I did get a varsity letter on high school team that was relatively good in the area. But you have to understand, I was a football player as well, and that is a sport my Dad does understand. In fact, he was good enough to play D1 football himself and had offers at Big Ten Schools in Indiana. I was also ostracized for playing tennis and for even being good at it in my high school. So much so, I strongly considered transferring.

So with the lack of understanding and needed support from my family, and with the pressures around me at 15, I decided to go all in on Football. When I say support, I mean the know how of who to go to and the ability to spend money on coaching. All of it was limited. My father is a Firefighter, and my Mom was an Operating Room Nurse. Money had to spent wisely. I could not even get to the tennis court to practice because I could not drive yet. My decision, was to give up tennis because it was becoming painful to lose first round of competitions to people who had more instruction and more practice. I thought tennis is a sport I will always be able to enjoy (saying I will just play for fun later in life), and yet it was the thing I loved to do most.

The truth is I wanted to be pro tennis player even back then, nobody knew, but it was for the best nobody knew. I do not think it is a good idea to be actively telling people your dreams, it could backfire. I think the understanding was that I wanted to play tennis in college. Of course I really wanted to go pro, but it was something I knew my parents would support.

What ended up happening is that my Dad gave me two choices, (1) play tennis and get lessons or (2) get stronger and faster through a strength and conditioning coach (group classes) for football. It’s funny, I really did need to do both if I wanted reach my aspirations as a tennis player, but it was not in the cards for me. That’s why I selected Football.

I am thankful for the strength and conditioning work that I did at 16 years old and on. I became really athletic after all. I was just short and when your 5’7 like I am you really need to be the fastest guy in their recruiting class to be valuable at that size for D1. So I struggled to be recruited at all, but I did not play to my relative strengths which was my ability to play tennis although not fully developed.

Today and Moving Forward

Fast forward to today, I find that I have interest in technology and innovation and even some passion. Patent prosecution though does not get me out of bed in the morning, and is certainly not something I enjoy. In fact the whole practice of law is something that stresses me out immensely, and I am always looking over my shoulder which isn’t healthy. I know I have to get out somehow, but I really don’t know what to do myself. There is no thing I want to do more than play tennis. Maybe I can try to become a college level player, but I am not at that level yet. Plus it is something that has never been done before, a so “called recreational tennis player” getting good enough to become a high-level player. But if there is anyone that can do it, after all that I been through I can do it.

None of this means I stop doing patent prosecution or even create posts about patent prosecution. As long as I am in the field which, I do plan to continue for now, I will provide informational articles about the patent field.

All of this is to say that I am changing the purpose of the blog to talk less about such intellectual topics, and more posts about my life and my journey and struggle to do what I love to do.